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| It happened. It finally happened. My Internet is fixed! Not so much fixed, I suppose, as replaced. Dad finally got fed up enough with the shoddy service we got for eighty dollars a month for satellite Internet, and just switched to Dial-Up. Believe it or not, it's much more reliable and much faster than our supposed "high speed" internet we were being grossly overcharged for.
Okay, it's almost four in the morning so let's see what I can remember about my life right now... Well, I'm officially in the Navy for starters! And I leave for boot camp very soon... November 9th. When I get out, mid-January, I'll be sent to San Diego to study electronics--which apparently I have an aptitude for, according to the ASVAB. So, I'm excited about all of that.
And of course, Andrew and I are determined to keep working on our relationship despite the distance. He'll be able to fly down and visit me in California at least a couple times, I think... At any rate, it won't nearly be as difficult as when I'm stationed on a ship and there won't be any opportunity for visits at all. This is what I want with my life, though, and if we're meant to be then we'll get through it.
In other news... I'm now watching V for Vendetta for the first time. I'll have to get back to you later on how I like it.
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| He can't possibly know how much I love him.
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| That's right. You're a shameless, two-faced fucking liar without the
slightest sense of reverence for honesty or integrity. You know how I
know this? Because you're all liars. There aren't honest people
anymore.
Maybe that's an exaggeration. I hope it is. But
that's how I'm feeling lately. I just can't trust a god damned word I
hear from anyone anymore: friends, family, even teachers! And any
authority figure--politicans, representatives, that shit--you know
they're all liars. And that's okay. Because we've made it okay.
Children watch their parents lie, they watch their rolemodels lie, they
watch their televisions lie. They do it themselves, they grow up, and
they teach their children to lie. The cycle continues.
I need you to know something. I don't think anyone ever told you, so I'm going to tell you now. Pay attention.
This
is what I need you to know: Lying is wrong. It's a sin. Even if you're
not Christian--I'm not--I know you have some concept of morality, and
an understanding that some things are just inherently wrong. Lying is
wrong. It's not a tool, it's not an easy way out, it's not an ends to a
mean, it's not a game--
IT'S WRONG. IMMORAL. In any context. Dishonesty is an act of evil. There are no white lies.
Don't
get me wrong. I have no delusions of being a pillar of honesty and
morality. I lie, too. But I think what sets me apart from most people
is that when I lie... I feel shitty about it. It stays with me for
weeks, months--even years. I hate lying, and I honest to goodness try
not to.
So, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of a world where lying
is normal, looked down on only minimally, if at all. Is there any worse
feeling than having a conversation with someone you love and not being
able to know for sure if what they're saying is true at all? Doubt it.
What
can I do about it? Nothing, probably. I guess all I can do is try my
hardest to be honest myself, and to call my peers out when I catch them
in lies, and let them know everything I've just said. That lying is wrong. I just don't think it will do any good. The average person just doesn't care anymore. I don't know why I do.
And
one last thing. I know you're reading this, thinking, "That's so true.
People should be more honest. People are liars." You're treating
yourself as the exception. Well, you're not. You're a liar too and you
don't even realize it, because you're so used to sliding in and out of
honesty whenever it suits you. It comes as natural as changing your
clothes. So next time you let slip one of your little "white" lies,
excuses, exaggerations--I hope you notice it. I hope you feel your
conscience, just a little.
But, you probably won't.
You fucking liar. | | |
| I hope you're happy.
I hope you're proud of your choice of words. I hope they got you what you wanted.
You never fought for me, and you never will.
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| I've been slacking pretty hardcore on updates... What is there to write about? Things aren't good... I don't know what to do anymore...
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